Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Day 15: Project: What Not To Wear

I had so much fun with this Project. My husband didn't know it, but he actually helped me with this one. He stayed home sick, so he was able to watch our son while I went shopping.

This project requires you to get rid of one piece of clothing that your husband doesn't like - even if it's a favorite!

This was a no-brainer for me! I've got 4 pairs of pj's that are OLD! Not to mention slightly less age-appropriate, and certainly not sexy in any way, not that that is my goal. . . . I also have a few t-shirts that aren't exactly flattering and some shirts whose collars have certainly seen better days - so . . . out they go!

Now for the fix. A local store is having a clearance sale - 70% off the LOWEST price! I really was shopping for myself, but ended up getting more for my husband and son (who seems to grow more quickly these days). I did replace 2 of the 4 pj's with cute little pink knee length pjs with cute buttons and some girly touches. what fun! I also picked up two slightly more flattering shirts and a nice pair of black slacks so I can occasionally go out without wearing jeans!

Ok - then I got some 2T, 3T AND 4T basics for our son, and a few shirts and a sweatshirt (a very nice one) for my hubby.

In all a great day - got rid of a few less than complimentary items from my closet (underwear drawer too!), and purchased over $550 in clothing for $197 including tax (which is a whopping 9%).

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Day 14: Gratitude Journal

Today I am grateful for . . .

1. Modern medicine - our son is starting to feel better!

2. Along those same lines - I'm grateful that our pediatrician has emergency Saturday hours!

3. My husband let me sleep in this morning!

4. Our son seems to be happy with his Daddy again - he was friendly to him today which is a nice change. (I think he gets used to having him home all day on the weekends, and then gets his little feelings hurt when Daddy has to go to work during the week.)

5. I got a jump-start on the laundry today, which is a great way to start the new week.

What are you grateful for today?

Days 10-14: MIA, But The Project Lives On!

Ok - so this week was not an ideal week! My two-year-old became really sick with the sneezy, coughing, runny nose, etc stuff. . . then I came down with it . . . then my husband . . . then our two-year-old got a really bad ear infection in BOTH ears! Yikes!! We spent all day Saturday on the couch because every time I tried to put him down he would cry. My poor hubby - that was really the first day I didn't do some small thing for the Husband Project. . . unless you count holding our son all day so my hubby didn't have to hear crying all day? :)

So - I did small things like making lunch, leaving notes, giving him some free time, etc. In fact, this morning/afternoon, he had about four-and-a-half hours to do whatever he wanted!

I'm crossing my fingers that the rest of the weeks in the Husband Project go a little more according to plan than this last one! There were some great projects in the book that I will either double-up over the next week or two, or I will do some of them after the 21 days.

:) Wendi

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Day 9: Project - Its all about his tummy! (Another diversion from the book)

Ok - so my niece was here all day and is spending the night again (winter vacation), so I had to kind of wing-it today, but I DID remember my husband throughout the day, and so I planned a very nice Greek dinner that I thought would surprise and delight him!

He DID love it, which made me feel really great. Yeah!

Now I'm off to read about tomorrow's project and start planning.

~ Wendi

Day 9: Gratitude Journal

Things I'm grateful for today:

1. My niece spent the night - we stayed up late and tried to sleep in - my 2 year old didn't help much on the sleeping in part, but we had a fun evening last night!

2. My niece and I got all the grocery shopping done WHILE keeping my over-energized son busy (he had a cold for the past few days and seemed to have WAY too much energy today - making up for the past few days. . . )

3. It was a beautifully sunny day!

4. We got to play at 3 - YES THREE - playgrounds today!

5. Dinner turned out great!

What were you grateful for today?


Day 8: Project Adjusted!

So, my day ended up to be completely different than I had planned, but it all worked out.

As a result, I didn't have the time I needed to do the real project, so I made my husband breakfast and lunch for the next day and let him know it was ready for him . :) He seemed touched by the gesture.

Then, after he went to bed, I got the garbage and diaper pail bag ready to go out to the garbage in the morning since it is our garbage day.

Day 8: Gratitude Journal

This was a family day (took my grandmother out for her 81st birthday along with another grandmother, my mom, my dad, my niece and my son)!

I'm grateful that:

1. My son was feeling well enough (at least we felt he was) to be around people!!

2. My mom bumped into my sister-in-law at the store so we found out that my niece as home all day (I called and invited her along for the fun).

3. My grandmothers, while very different, are both doing well at their ages!

4. We got to take the entire family (while hubby was at work, which made him happy) to a lunch buffet and then on to the children's museum which was packed with kids due to the holiday!

5. We had fun playing Rock Band 2 with my hubby last night when all was quiet again and our son was down for his nap! :)

What are you grateful for today?

~ Wendi

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Week 1 Bonus Project: Can I Write About S E X ?? (Family Friendly)

Ok - so each week has a bonus project, which according to page 53 of the book is:

Sex. Yep, that's what the Bonus Projects are all about. Sex, plain and simple. You'll be finding ways to physically bless your man at least once a week for each of the three weeks. No doubt, these projects will be some of your guy's favorites, and hopefully some of yours as well.
In the interest of not blushing whenever I see a friend or family member who reads my blog, I'm NOT going to be posting what I did for the bonus project, but I will remind everyone who is following along (and hopefully participating in going through the book) about them and give you a glimpse of what the project is.

By the way, Kathi is a great site where she has a bunch of resources that can be used with The Husband Project, and one thing is a cute Do Not Disturb door hanger that can be printed and used for some projects. ;) It would probably come in handy for this one. To print it, click the link above, then scroll down the list of links on the left until you find the Do Not Disturb, click, and print!

This week, I was challenged to find a book that would help me discover what my husband (well, what any man) needs when it comes to sex!

Good luck ladies. Have some fun with this one!

Day 7: Project - Tryphy Wife (tweaked for a day in the yard!)

What was supposed to happen: Ok - So I was supposed to get up and do a few things to look REALLY good for my husband today, and I had figured out everything I was going to do - straighten my hair the way he loves it, wear my diamond earings and necklace that he gave me, pretty frilly shirt, really work the makeup, etc.

What really happened: we got up, threw on hats and ran outside to play in the sun! It wasn't raining and we thought we would get the yard cleaned up from a recent storm so our son could play outside this week (weather permitting).

Then it was nap time for our son and I realized that being a "Trophy Wife" today just wasn't going to happen, so I started planning. I invited my husband to jump in the shower with me (dual shower heads are great!) to get clean. I then proceeded to wash his hair with shampoo and conditioner - I think I spent about 7 minutes really massaging his scalp - he told me he was in heaven! He stayed in the shower while I got ready ad put our son down for his nap.

Then we had to be quiet, so I wrote a few book reviews that are scheduled on Wendi's Book Corner for later this week.

Now my men are in bed (husband and son), and I am free to plan tomorrow's project!

My question to you: What do you do to make yourself pretty for your husband?

Day 7: Gratitude Journal

Things I am grateful for today (no particular theme):

1. My husband watched Cars with my son this morning so I could sleep in!

2. We think we have found where my husband's car is leaking from (well, another place!) - the rear brake light that is in the middle of the trunk! Yes - he had previously fixed the tail light seals as this was reported to be a problem with his car, but it seemed to still be leaking. . . so keep your fingers crossed! I am so proud (and thankful) that he found this new leak!

3. We went outside and played in the yard as a family today - it was cold, but sunny!

4. I just realized that we haven't argued AT ALL over the past week!

5. My husband brought my son over to me while I was reading on the couch and both of them cuddled with me! :)

What are you grateful for today?

Giveaway: The Husband Project by Kathi Lipp

I simply can't say enough great things about this book! In just one week, I've noticed some pretty huge changes in my relationship with my husband (in a good way)!

The author, Kathi Lipp, has very generously offered to give away one copy of her book to one of my visitors both this week and next week! AND she will sign it for the winner!! :)

For an entry this week (Make Sure to leave an email so I can notify you if you are the winner):

1. Leave a comment with a suggestion of how to show your husband how much you love and appreciate him (after all, in two more weeks, I will have done all the projects in the book - so I need some more great ideas!).

2. Join me! Check out a few of my project posts and do one for your husband, then come back and let me know what you thought!

3. Leave a thoughtful comment on the review over at Wendi's Book Corner.

Whether or not you have a wonderful relationship with your husband, I encourage you to be a part of my journey over the next month or so (yes, things can happen, and it may take me longer than the planned 21 days!) at The Husband Project ~ A Wife's Journey.

Open to residents of the United States and Canada. The drawing will be held Monday February 23rd - Good luck!!

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Day 6: Gratitude Journal

Ok - again - really tired, so here's a quick version:

I'm grateful that:

1. We both kept Valentine's Day small, but meaningful.
2. My dinner didn't burn, and actually tasted good! (broiled lobster with garlic/red pepper butter, herbed cauliflower)
3. My hubby and I got to cuddle for an ENTIRE movie without interruption!
4. My husband taught my son to wipe his forehead and say "yucky" when he gets a kiss - believe it or not, I found this very endearing!
5. Hubby offered to watch our son so I could run to the store and shop with my Mom for a while.

~ Wendi

Day 6: A Little Hand's On Attention

Today was better than yesterday, although my hubby didn't make it easy!

We had a nice day today, getting up, exchanging little Valentine's Day sweets, etc.

This evening, our son went down early because he is still feeling pretty bad, and he missed his nap (too excited with daddy home all day!).

As a result, we decided to watch a grown-up movie and my hubby chose Eagle Eye - very actiony movie!

My husband got the movie ready and sat down on the loveseat. I told him to scoot over and he refused (I'd been planning to massage his head and rub his back). Instead, he said I could cuddle with him, so I decided to take what I could get.

At one point, he got up to check on our son, so I took the opportunity to switch places. He humored me when he returned, and I got my chance to massage his head and back.

I know he enjoyed it, and it was worth it to help him relax and feel loved! :)

Day 5: E-Flirt (Did I Just Crash and Burn??)

Ok - so yesterday (yes - I'm behind on posting - both my son and I are battling colds, so I was amazed that I made it through the day in one piece! By the time my son and hubby went to bed, I was simply too tired to sneak back out and post!) the project was to e-flirt (text, email, etc).

I was challenged from the moment my husband left the house at 3:30 am! You see, I tried to call him to make sure everything was ok (yes - that is a little early even for him), and when I called his cell, it rang in the kitchen - oops! Well, we do have the same phone, so maybe he took mine?? Nope! Tried mine and it rang in the kitchen as well. Then I started to worry - he NEVER forgets anything! Fifteen minutes later I did get him at work, and he said he was getting a jump start on the day so he could come home early. I wished him a good day and tried to go back to sleep.

I checked my email on my pda, then decided that since I couldn't text him, I would email him and wish him a happy day, so I sent him a quick email signed xoxo.

Mid-day, sent another email telling him I hoped he was having a good day and was looking forward to seeing him and doing something fun this weekend.

Yes - I'm not exactly an e-flirt via email - I used to work for the same company, and I KNOW they log and filter emails.

Anyway, he came home, and other than having dinner in the crockpot and the house straightened, I was curled up on the couch with a blanket (just got the son down for a nap and was trying to relax and get rid of the cold!).

He seemed to have misunderstood my emails to be nagging him to come home, so my feelings were a little hurt (I specifically didn't ask him to come home, but rather wished him a good day!). I had picked a fun movie up for us to watch in the evening, and he didn't seem too interested.

Anyway, he later made another comment about me not being nice except for the first few days of the week, so I'm thinking he sees the grander gestures and not the smaller ones.

I'm not going to take it personally - I'm going to get through the temporary stall and keep going! :)

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Day 4: Heart vs. Stomache (yummy brownies. . . )

So, the project today was really fun and easy. I was challenged to surprise my husband with a yummy treat for his tummy!

I made two!!

1.Yummy homemade (well, partly- I did use a mix!) triple chocolaty brownies, warm from the oven when he arrived home, and neatly arranged on a pretty plate.

2. A very interesting Jambalaya type dinner. Lots of diced peppers, celery and tomatoes, Turkey SPAM cut into squares and sauteed - yes I said SPAM - this was a first for me - all simmered together to create a wonderful flavorful dinner.

I really enjoyed surprising him with this tonight. I even cleared off the table and put on the pretty tablecloth my Mom gave me a few years ago!

Overall, the dinner and brownies were really enjoyed, and my hubby went to bed with an overly-stuffed tummy!


Day 4: Gratitude Journal

Today - I'm going to focus on things that make me grateful during this scary economic times.

You see - today I had a fun time with my Mom, and we were talking about the economy a bit, and she told me about some scary job-related facts. . . such as an opening for a meter-maid type job - ONE job - that had over 1600 applicants, and of those 1600, 800 were tested for the job. Another fact was about a recent job fair that was spotlighting 1600 jobs and had over 16,000 people show up!

So - I'm very grateful. . . .

1. That my husband has a good job.
2. That we bought a house that we could afford instead of what they qualified us for at the time we were looking.
3. That we were able to refinance our 7 year ARM mortgage (would have started adjusting in 2012) to a 30 year fixed at 4.625%
4. That we don't use credit cards, except to get reward points, and if/when we do use it, we pay it off at the end of the month so we don't carry a balance.
5. That we are finding small ways to save money (making coffee at home instead of getting it on the way to work, using coupons - yes I scrounge for great coupons and actually use them!!)


Good Morning Dear! A Special Note

Look what I found when I walked into the dining room this morning!! Yes - you may think its silly, but after 8 1/2 years of marriage, and over 7 years of dating prior to that, I thought these cute little messages were long gone.

This is just one of the perks from participating in The Husband Project, a book written by Kathi Lipp.

I am absolutely amazed at the change in my attitude, and the small things that my husband is doing as a result! And I'm only on day 4 of the 21 day project!

To see what I've done and experienced so far, visit my new project blog: The Husband Project ~ A Wife's Journey. (Also, feel free to leave a comment on things that I can do to let my husband know that I love and appreciate him! I want to continue this past the initial 21 days!)

To read my review of the book and read the first chapter for yourself, click here.

~ Wendi

Review: The Husband Project by Kathi Lipp (Excerpt Included)

I am reposting the review I did over at Wendi's Book Corner here.

Whether or not you have a wonderful relationship with your husband, I encourage you to be a part of my journey over the next month or so (yes, things can happen, and it may take me longer than the planned 21 days!) at The Husband Project ~ A Wife's Journey.

Feel free to:

1. Stop by and give me some constructive feedback on how you think I'm doing
2. Help me come up with some more great activities to show my husband that I love and honor him
3. JOIN ME in this journey - what do you have to lose? Nothing! What do you have to gain? Everything!

Title:The Husband Project: 21 Days of Loving Your Man, On Purpose and With a Plan
Author: Kathi Lipp
Pages: 208
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers (January 1, 2009)
Genre: Non-Fiction / Love & Marriage / Christian
Edition: Paperback - many thanks to the author for sending me a copy to review as part of the WildCard Tour!

Perfect for : Personal Use, Women's Bible Study Group, Women's Group

In a nutshell: Love it . . . NEED it! In hoping to pick up a book that would help me "fix" some things with my husband, I actually found that I needed to fix myself - starting with my perspective! After one day of reading the book, I found myself noticing things that I am grateful for, instead of focusing on the things that aren't quite right. I also realized that now that we have a toddler, I've moved my focus from my husband to our son, and it is time for me to learn to share that focus a little better so I'm not neglecting anyone. Sounds hard right? Nope - Kathi Lipp has written a wonderful book to help you show your husband that you love and appreciate him through little things you do over the course of 21 days (21 days builds a habit!). I highly recommend this book to anyone in a serious relationship - no matter how long you've been in it!

Extended Review: One thing I've learned over the past eight years of marriage - we will have our ups and downs, our days where we love each other unconditionally, and we also have some not-so-great moments where tempers flare and teeth grind. . . SO, when I heard about this great new book out called The Husband Project, I was instantly interested! Wow - sounds like the answer to my prayers. While it is not quite the project I was expecting, it is indeed something I need. I've become absorbed in daily things that get on my nerves and have stopped paying attention to the good things he is doing, and I certainly don't make the effort to show him that I appreciate him - so this book is perfect for me!

Kathi Lipp has created a project, that is meant to help you show your husband that you love and respect him, but shhhh - it's a secret. She carefully explains that you want to keep this project a secret so that expectations aren't changed (You've worked to set up a nice surprise, and if he knows you are working on the Husband Project, he may not see the surprise as anything special because he is expecting some grand gesture, so this is one of those times when it is good to keep a secret).

Content: The book has three main sections. The first goes into how to prepare for the Husband Project (why is it important, what is the purpose, what do you need to do ahead of time).

The second section covers the actual project - all three weeks are detailed with daily project suggestions which include good explanations, a daily prayer, ways to change the project, and actual feedback from people who have done that project.

The third section includes a few tools to use throughout the project. It has a great checklist/planner, two guides (guide to choosing lingerie, and some great recipes for guy food), and some information on how to contact the author.

Format: Each project is explained in detail, including why the project was chosen and what it is trying to accomplish. It is followed by a prayer for the day, some ways to be more creative with the project, and some comments from people who have already completed the project.

Readability: Very easy to read, understand and implement!

Overall: I highly recommend this book to anyone in a serious relationship, but especially for those whose relationship feels like it has hit a dull or rough patch. Give this book a chance to help change your perspective and put some fun (respect, love, laughter, etc) back into your relationship.

It is time for a FIRST Wild Card Tour book review! If you wish to join the FIRST blog alliance, just click the button. We are a group of reviewers who tour Christian books. A Wild Card post includes a brief bio of the author and a full chapter from each book toured. The reason it is called a FIRST Wild Card Tour is that you never know if the book will be fiction, non~fiction, for young, or for old...or for somewhere in between! Enjoy your free peek into the book!

You never know when I might play a wild card on you!
Today's Wild Card author is:

and the book:

The Husband Project

Harvest House Publishers (January 1, 2009)


Kathi Lipp is a busy conference and retreat speaker, currently speaking more than 45 times each year to thousands of women. Lipp is also a contributing author to two bestselling books: Humor for a Woman’s Heart 2 and Lists to Live By: The Christian Collection. She also has had articles published in several magazines, including Today’s Christian Woman and Discipleship Journal. Kathi and her husband, Roger, are the parents of four teenagers and live in California.

Visit the author's website.

Product Details:

List Price: $12.99
Paperback: 208 pages
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers (January 1, 2009)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0736925228
ISBN-13: 978-0736925228


Why the Husband Project?

“Kathi, a couple of us need to quit the project.”

I couldn’t believe what Angela was saying. Quit the Husband Project? We’d just started that weekend.

“Ang, are you kidding me? Why do you want to quit already?” There was no way things could be going downhill so quickly.

“I was talking to some of the other girls, and because we’re being so nice, our husbands are becoming suspicious. They think we’re all having affairs!”

Apparently, there’s a bigger need for the Husband Project than even I could have expected.

The Beginning of the Husband Project

At my busy church in San Jose, California, I serve in a variety of roles. Some of the roles I have played have been on the programming team with my husband, Roger, who is the director of the Worship Arts Ministry, leading Bible studies and small groups and taking meals to people who are sick or having babies. But my favorite role by far is mentoring women.

The girls I mentor are smart, funny, and committed to serving God. They really are amazing. However, like most wives I know, they have a tendency to “share” about their husbands.

“He’s never home. I feel like I’m single – but with an extra person to clean up after.”

“Why is it when he’s watching our kids it’s babysitting?”

“We used to be romantic, but now our idea of romance is reading take-out menus together.”

The “sharing” started to concern me. I wasn’t judging these girls; trust me. I found myself slipping every once in a while – saying something “endearing” about my husband while rolling my eyes.

A Change in Perspective

I know the importance of loving and honoring my husband, and like every other lesson in my life, I learned it the hard way. (Why can’t I ever learn things while eating chocolates and shopping…?)

I married in my early twenties’ with two babies came along shortly after the marriage vows. In retrospect, I can see that as soon as discovered the wonders of a Diaper Genie, my concentration shifted from my husband to the day-to-day care of my kids. With a full-time job thrown in, the goal of making my husband feel special dropped way down on my priority list.

After a very painful marriage and divorce, I am now remarried to an amazing guy. When new friends meet him they say, “Oh, so this is Prince Charming!” He’s a great father and step dad, and loves me and his God and indulges my passion for fat-free coconut yogurt on a regular basis. I really couldn’t ask for a better guy.

And, yet, like a great pair of comfortable flip flops, he’s sometimes easy to take him for granted. He’s always there - not demanding anything of me. He can fix his own frozen pizza when I am too busy to cook and can even wash his own socks in a pinch. When work deadlines loom and kids have dozens of activities, I sometimes let my relationship with Rog fall to sixth or seventh on my “Hey, pay attention to me!” list.

Have you noticed our culture has a one-way expectation that men should give women what they “need” (sending flowers to work, doing his share of the dirty work around the house, being a great dad, remembering and celebrating anniversaries) without asking for anything in return? But, as we know, this fantasy man isn’t real a husband, it’s a character in a dime store romance novel.

The kind of marriage I want is one in which we’re both doing all we can to honor and love each other, putting each other’s needs above our own.

Philippians 2:3-4 says it best: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

I want this for both of us. The reality is, however, I only have control over my own actions.

Enter the Husband Project

I tried different ideas with some of my friends at church – a variety of “husband encouragement programs.” Most seemed like a lot of work and not much fun. You see, I have the attention span of a third-grader who’s just spent six straight hours on X-Box. So I needed something short, doable and exciting. We, as stressed-out and over-worked wives and moms, don’t need to feel burdened by another line on our to-do lists.

So I started thinking and praying about what would truly make my husband feel loved (and maybe even lucky to be married to me.) I made up a list and began practicing on Roger. Some of the ideas (buying him a gift card to his favorite restaurant and surprising him with an impromptu date) were big hits. Others (like opening mystery clues for an all day adventure) were, let’s say, less than successful.

After several flops (hey, I thought the guys at his work would think that his lunch sack covered in hearts was adorable…) I finally got desperate. I asked him, “Okay, what would make you feel loved?” (And yes, I felt pretty pathetic to be asking.) After showing him the list, he gave me thumbs up or down on several of the items. I now had a much clearer plan in place. No, cookies in the shapes of bunnies were not necessary. Homemade raw cookie dough, however, was a big thumbs up. Yes, I asked the questions. I have gone where women fear to tread. I am in possession of the knowledge of what men (or at least my man) like.

This is how The Husband Project was born.

The premise is simple:

You, and two other friends (your accountability partners) commit to bless your husbands everyday for three weeks, in secret.

That’s it. Pretty simple, granted. But not always easy.

No Cookie-Cutter Marriages

While working on the Projects, I talked with friends of all ages, in very different marital situations.

Some of my friends were in the oh-so-romantic stage of marriage. You’re just done in by how beautifully he shaves. As you pick up his clothes from the bedroom floor, you just can’t help but giggle at how adorable it is that he never puts anything away.

On the other side of the spectrum, I have girlfriends who cannot stand to be in the same room with their husbands while they’re breathing. The “inhale, exhale” is enough to make them want to take up residence at a nice studio apartment in town.

And then, there are the other 94% of us.

We’re the ones who love our husbands but have fallen into a comfortable routine. (Comfortable often meaning, you don’t bug me and I won’t bug you.) We’re partners in parenting and contributors to financial matters. We’ve negotiated the household chores (I’ll do the dishes if you keep the car from making funny noises,) and keep each other on schedule for the dentist and the occasional oil change.

We like our husbands, for the most part. And they like us, for the most part. While this is okay, it’s definitely not what we were anticipating as we planned our weddings and dreamed about our happily-ever-after lives.

I have to admit, I’m writing this book for me and my friends – the 94% who want better relationships with our men and are willing to be creative, thoughtful, and possibly daring enough to break out some lingerie to get it.

“But He Doesn’t Even Notice”

Some women who have tried the Projects for a few days wondered if it’s even worth it. After doing several of the Projects, they complained that their husbands have barely noticed.

So, if you’re wearing your cute jeans to meet your husband in the evenings, leaving bags of gummi bears for him in his car, and wearing shorter and shorter lingerie to bed each night without comment from your man, don’t be discouraged.

Working The Husband Project is a lot like working on your prayer life. For example, I recently committed to setting aside a chunk of time daily to pray. As I devote more time to prayer and meditation, I’m realizing that my requests are less about asking God to make things go my way, and more about asking God to change my heart to follow Him and His plans for me.

This project is as much about changing our attitudes as it is about blessing our husbands. It’s great to get positive reinforcement, and when you do, write it down so you can remember it and tailor the way that you show your love in the future.

But even when your husband says nothing, you have the knowledge that you have actively shown him love and support. That’s the true gift of The Husband Project.

If you still need some affirmation (and who doesn’t?) look for it in other healthy places. In my case I have a friend, Lynn, who sends me a small gift whenever I complete a goal for writing. Even if I don’t sell an article, I still have the hope of some great Snoopy stickers in the mail.

Ask your accountability partners to celebrate your successes with you. Perhaps, if each of you does your daily project for seven days, you give each other a $5 Starbucks card, or if you do all 21 days, you all spend an afternoon together at the spa. Be creative, as it says in Hebrews 10:24, “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” A grande latte could be an excellent way to start.

If you have reviewed this book and would like me to add a link to your review, please include a link in your comment!
Click below to read more great reviews!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Day 2: Reflection on the day

One thing I forgot to mention in my earlier post:

I'm trying really hard to be nice (which isn't as hard as I thought it would be).

I'm also trying to keep up the 30 minutes of "his" time to relax when he gets home.

While I'm trying to do little things for him, he is noticing them really quickly, and he's doing little things for me too. (Running for the phone, running to grab dinner out of the oven when the timer went off so I didn't have to get up from the couch, taking the garbage out this morning)

. . . . I'm amazed, and it's only day 3!

;) Time for bed!

Day 3: Brag About Your Man!

Ok - Ok! I don't have the title quite right, but the gist of today's project was to brag about my husband and let him know that I talked about him.

I did brag about him quite a lot to my mother and grandmother, along with a stranger or two when we took my son to the local Children's Museum today.

You see - my husbands car has a horrible leak in it somewhere, and after taking it to the car shop twice, they still can't find anything, yet the trunk and back seat are sopping wet - I'm talking actual puddles!

My hubby did some research and found out it was a flaw with the car, and he also found out what some other owners of the car did to fix it. So - we took a hose out a week or so ago to see if we could MAKE it leak, and sure enough - we were able to find at least one leak, and follow it back to the source.

Sunday, my hubby spent a few hours outside taking the tail lights out of his car (no easy task!), and re-sealing the gaskets (think that was it). He then sealed a bunch of other areas around the trunk that didn't look water-tight.

Yesterday he came home and told me that even after a full day of rain (not surprising here in Seattle), there was LESS water in his car!! Yeah!!!

I am so impressed that this car repair hasn't cost us $1k in repairs! :) He found the leak, did some research, and FIXED it!!

So yes, I bragged about it today!! And then I told him about it, and how proud, excited, impressed, etc I am of him!

Hmmm - he didn't appear to really care. That said, he and I visited a little more than normal, and he initiated a game of dominoes with me shortly after he got home and I had put dinner in the oven.

:) Wendi

PS - for the past two days, he has noticed how nice I've been, and has commented. It is so nice to feel "nice" for a change! I really do find myself continuing to think of my hubby throughout the day in nice ways.

Oh - and he took the garbage out when he left for work! I didn't have to ask or put it by the door - I got up and it was simply gone!! So I did say a huge thank you this evening. Maybe this Husband Project will have a few good benefits for me too (other than my happier outlook)!

Day 3: Gratitude Journal

:) I'm really tired, so I'm keeping today's list as short as possible!

Things about my husband I'm grateful for today:
1. He walked in the door with a smile today!
2. He told me to sit, and then ran to grab dinner out of the oven when the timer went off.
3. He thanked me for boiling eggs for his breakfast (to eat at work).
4. He noticed that I straightened a clutter area in the kitchen.
5. He stopped and got a quote for new tires for my vehicle on his way home.

~ Wendi

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Day 2: Gratitude Journal

I'm doing a slightly different journal today - Project 2 had me reminiscing about the pre-marriage days, so I'm going to focus my gratefulness on why I'm grateful I married my high-school sweetheart.

1. I'm grateful we waited to get married until we were both ready.

2. I'm grateful that "grew-up" together - there aren't any skeletons in the closet that are ready to fall out and ruin things!

3. We dated for so long, that we have many fun/shared memories that we can look back on.

4. I'm grateful that we've got a great track-record of helping each other through good times and difficult times.

5. I'm really grateful that my husband has a quirky sense of humor (yes - I will need to remind myself of this later when it becomes annoying again!). He can make me laugh, and he can laugh things off that might otherwise annoy him!

~ Wendi

What are you grateful for today?

Day 2: Question for Readers

A question for you!!

What were some of the things you or your husband enjoyed prior to marriage?

~ Wendi

Day 2: Back In The Day

Ok - so I thought I would try to do the project from yesterday (give him 30 minutes when he got home just for himself), then figured I'd go right into today's project, which was to "Do Something He Enjoyed Before You Got Married."

I actually struggled with this one. You see, I've got some great memories from pre-marriage days. We didn't live together prior to getting married, but we did spend a lot of time at one of the parents houses, and we had a better time at his dad's because he was so relaxed about rules. As a result, my husband often had projects set up on a table in his room that we would work on for hours. Well, he would work on them, and eventually invited me to help him. Generally he was working on RC cars (really nice, expensive ones!), or an occasional model car.

A few other fun memories were watching wrestling shows with his dad - yes - dorky, but it was so fun because they had so much fun and things got rowdy and loud. The shows aren't as much fun anymore, so I went to three different stores thinking I would get a new UFC fighting show for him to watch while munching on some goodies, but none of them had them!

We also used to hike and bike a lot - but with snow falling today - that was out of the question!

Finally, I remembered that he used to play a lot of games. . . pool at my parents house, Monopoly with his family, and I taught him to play cribbage, and he taught me dominoes.

So - I got dinner all lined out, straightened up the house, put our son down for a nap, and started getting things ready for a game of dominoes.

He called to say that he was on his way home, so I turned on the oven (chicken enchiladas from Costco), and got the dominoes all set up. He came in and I suggested that he relax for a few minutes - maybe catch up on sports or the news (or his game). Surprise - he had no interest. He wanted to know how my day was and what we had done.

I took him over to the table and pulled out some hummus and pita chips I'd stashed in the kitchen.


And then it happened. . . .

"ok - what did you do to the car?"
"are you cheating on me?"
"what are you hiding from me?"
"are you drunk?"
"are you on drugs?"

I just laughed at him and told him that I'd been thinking about him and thought it would be fun to play a game of dominoes like we used to.

We had so much fun - did I already say that?? Hmmm. . .

Well - I won the first game, he won the second. We started visiting about different things in a way we haven't for a long time.

So, during this whole time, I'd had dinner on "low" in the oven, or so I thought! Oops - I didn't really look at the nob when I turned it down to keep it warm. I accidentally turned it onto broil!! So - while we were distracted, dinner was melting to the pan I had under it!

We ended up having grasshopper pie (leftover from a dinner party the other day), hard-boiled eggs, sliced peppers, and hummus with pita chips for dinner - along with some great laughs!

We then sat down on the couch while our son was playing with his cars, and started asking each other about favorites . . . colors, movies, veggies, fruits, etc. We must have sat there for 45 minutes or so. It was so great to connect this way - we haven't done that in years!

Special note- as with yesterday, I found myself thinking positively about my husband throughout the entire day, which was really nice and made me feel good! :)

Note (You will probably see this on a lot of my posts): If you want to participate in The Husband Project, I highly encourage you to pick up a copy of the book. I am going to share some of my experiences with you, but you will get SO much more from reading the book and really understanding what Kathi Lipp is saying.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Day One: Gratitude Journal

LOL - I should be writing this post throughout the day as I think of things I'm grateful for. I am so tired by the end of the day, that sometimes I can't remember what I ate for breakfast - wait. . . . did I even eat breakfast today?

1. I was grateful that I had put an un-cooked meatloaf in the freezer - it came in handy when my husband came home early!!

2. I was grateful that all the laundry was in the basket this morning, I know some people leave clothes strewn throughout the house, and we don't do that here. :)

3. I was grateful that I did not procrastinate today - It made me feel good to get some things done quickly!

4. I was grateful that I am learning to be more flexible.

5. I was VERY grateful that my husband took the time to let me know that he had looked forward to coming home early so he could visit with me and play with our son.

Day One: A Bumpy Start (But Worth It) AKA 30 Minutes Is All It Takes

Ok - so the project title for today was "30 Minutes Is All It Takes: Create Some Free Time When He Gets Home."

I thought about this all week! I had a plan in place - I jumped out of bed and started tearing through the house, trying to get everything put away, dinner planned/started, kiddo dressed and playing, etc. I was so excited and energized that I chose to hold off on taking my shower - I just kept saying, as soon as I'm done with ____.

Just when I was feeling pretty good about what I had accomplished, I had this funny feeling, and tried to call my husband at work to find out how his day was going and make sure he wasn't planning to come home too early. No answer. Hmmm - maybe he was in a meeting? No Such Luck! 10 minutes later I hear the keys in the door! I was still supposed to have three hours!!!

Needless to say, he did notice that the house was nice, and we were happy to see him (normally I'm exhausted by the time he gets home). I felt bad about still being in my pajamas, but what was I to do?

So, I had a bumpy start to Project 1. I was flabbergasted for about 2 minutes, then shifted gears and found a way to give him the 30 minutes I wasn't quite ready for.

I smiled at him, told him I was going to give our son a bath in the sink, and gently suggested that he could tell me about his day, or take the time to check on sports or play a video game. LOL - do I even need to say that the couch was the choice for winding down? :)

Upon reflection, I do think even this very basic project had an impact - I saw my husband smile more this evening, which was nice. Yes - there were one or two moments where I was disappointed that I didn't get more done, and I do recall one moment where I felt really unappreciated, but then I remembered that I was doing this for him, not me.

One last thought on today - my perspective really has changed - BAM - overnight! I spent odd moments throughout the day thinking of how great my husband was, and what small things I could do to show him that I really love him! I think this small shift in my thinking has made me happier.

Now I need to finalize my Project 2 plans for tomorrow.

:) My question to you:

What do you do to wind down at the end of the day? If you had 30 minutes when you came home, what would you do in that time?

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Day Zero: Gratitude Journal

Today was a day much like any other day in Seattle. I saw a little sun, and a little rain. :)

Things that I am grateful for today (I'm going to follow Kathi's advice and leave kid-related things off the list - they really are too easy!)

1. We all got up early today, got ready and started the day much earlier than we have in the recent past - that felt really good!
2. My husband and I both got a little "me" time today.
3. My husband helped with the dishes, and I didn't even say anything!
4. My parents came over to entertain our toddler while I cut my husband's hair, allowing him to go from scruffy to handsome in the matter of about 45 minutes - that felt great and made a huge difference in how my husband looks!
5. My husband took us out this evening for a family banana split at our local Baskin' Robbins (I did do a few small things for my husband today, but don't think he noticed, but maybe he did, because this is not a normal outing.) :)

I could find many more things to be grateful for today, but I think I'm going to try to limit myself to five in the interest of getting a little sleep!

Shhhh - It's A Secret!

I'm asking that no one share what I am doing with my husband (yes - a few of you may know him and chat with him from time-to-time) until after I am done.

In the book, Kathi explains that this is one of those good secrets to keep from your spouse. She goes on to explain that in the instances where a husband found out what their wife was doing, the expectations often changed, and what would have been a loving gesture or fun activity became an expectation, thus removing the benefit of the project and making it too hard to accomplish.

:) Wendi

Day Zero: A Change in Perspective

The book is broken into three main sections, with the first focusing on preparing the reader (me) to start the Husband Project.

I was amazed to find that within the first few pages I was having a revelation! I've been taking my husband for granted - I've been glossing over the small compliments he gives me and focusing on anything I view as a criticism. Kathi is right! This book is as much about changing my perspective as it is about choosing to actively show my husband that I love and honor him!

Kathi has a great suggestion, which I feel immediately helped me to start seeing things differently: keep a journal/list of things you are grateful for! Yes! Force me to start seeing things in a more positive light - I DO have plenty to be grateful for. :)

So, to recap:

1. I am in need of a change in perspective, and it is easy to see!
2. I am going to create a more positive outlook by finding things to be grateful for on a daily basis.
3. My goal is no longer to "change my husband", but rather, to find ways to show him that I love, honor and support him.

Note (You will probably see this on a lot of my posts): If you want to participate in The Husband Project, I highly encourage you to pick up a copy of the book. I am going to share some of my experiences with you, but you will get SO much more from reading the book and really understanding what Kathi Lipp is saying.

Day Zero: My Gut Reaction

Ok - so you probably have no clue what The Husband Project is, or why you should learn a little more about it, so I'll try to give you a little heads up here. (I've got a full review at my normal blog: Wendi's Book Corner)

When I first read the title of this book, my gut reaction was, "I've got to get this book - if I start showing my husband more respect and affection, maybe I'll get the same in return!" Now, don't get me wrong - I am absolutely NOT husband bashing here. I've got a wonderful husband, but every now and then we don't see eye-to-eye.

I've always been a career woman - at least I was until we had our miracle baby on Christmas Eve 2006, a month early (almost lost him at 20 weeks into the pregnancy, then spent 4 months on severe bedrest, mostly in the hospital), and then we made the decision together that he would provide and I would nurture. Ever since then I've tried to become a wonderful homemaker, but struggle with everything, especially the desire to have positive feedback.

Which brings me back to the title of the book - when I read it, I thought this would be the answer to all my prayers! Well - it has been, only in a way that I wasn't expecting. You see, as I started reading the book, I realized that I needed to shift my perspective, and amazingly enough, I think it is working!

An Invitation

Whether or not you have a wonderful relationship with your husband, I encourage you to be a part of my journey over the next month or so (yes, things can happen, and it may take me longer than the planned 21 days!).

Feel free to:

1. Stop by and give me some constructive feedback on how you think I'm doing
2. Help me come up with some more great activities to show my husband that I love and honor him
3. JOIN ME in this journey - what do you have to lose? Nothing! What do you have to gain? Everything!

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